Re: Defiled Conception // The Shepherd and Possibly Eleventh Doctor?

[The Eleventh Doctor]

"Stay with you... You know I'd never leave." he sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. Dragging his feet, he slumped down in the chair next to her again, playing with his fingers. When she asked him if he expected her to never move on. He was so tempted to say yes. But he wouldn't be being fair. He did marry River, but then again, he'd always said that it was either that, or death of everything...

"No... I can't expect that from you. But knowing this now, when I'm still with you doesn't exactly make me the happiest person. No... Sorry, it's just that..." he hesitated, wondering if he should voice his thoughts. Don't do it... You're going to regret saying it. Sighing internally, he shook his head, "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

As she muttered that she didn't believe that he would kill her future lover, his eyes hardened, and his gaze flicked up to her face for a brief second. "Do you really believe that? I'm not so sure myself...", he whispered, frowning. Clara was right, he was most definitely changing.

[Siren]

When the Doctor had dragged a chair to sit by her side, relief washed over her eyes as she continued to watch him, biting her lip and just watching his expression. She absolutely hated seeing the Doctor like this... but what he said next, she did not expect. He was trying to stop himself from saying something.

Letting it go for a moment, she didn't know if even she wanted to here what he was going to say. Her hands clasping toghether, he then spoke of not being so sure of himself... which worried her completely. At first she wasn't even quite sure of what to say to that.

"Doctor, I know you wouldn't..." she shook her head. "You're the most wonderful and kind man in the universe, you would never kill someone in cold blood..." she tried to assure him... and even for a moment she was trying to assure herself that. She just couldn't stand the idea of the Doctor actually killing.

[The Eleventh Doctor]

He chuckled once, hearing the well-hidden uncertainty in her own voice as she tried to assure him of the opposite. At the sound of his hollow laugh, something woke inside him.

Frowning, he suddenly wondered why he was acting so self-pitying. He'd promised himself from the first day he'd taken a companion that he would never judge their actions. If she left him in the future, then she did. That was that, it was in the future, and there was nothing to be done about it.

Straightening up in his seat, he wiped his face of emotions. That was the least he could do, do as he'd promised. Looking at Demory, he took one of her hands in his and swallowed the emotions down. If ever it got to be too much, then he would just let it out when he was alone. Yes, much healthier for Demory that way.

"Perhaps you're right. We'll just have to wait and see.", he raised his eyebrows. "Sorry for my actions. Count on me for blowing things bigger than they are. You won't have to see that again." he shook his head with an emotionless smile.

[Siren]

When the Doctor had taken her hand, she squeezed it very lightly as she watched his eyes. There was something that had lit up in them, as if he had come to some realization, yet there still was no sign of genuine acceptance within him. She frowned lightly, listening to him speak.

"Doctor, you never need to apologize to me..." she shook her head ever so slightly. "I know that sometimes things get rough, and I understand how you're feeling... you have absolutely no reason to apologize," she bit her lip slightly. "This is all because of me anyways. If I hadn't been so foolish..." she had a gut feeling that something was going to happen to them, which would cause him to ultimately leave her without saying goodbye as he journeyed to Trenzalore.

"Also... you did not make things much bigger than they actually are. Your reaction was perfectly acceptable for me screwing up," she sighed. "I mean... all my life, I grew up only ever wanting to travel with you, and then when I came of age, I ended up falling in love with you. My entire life was surrounded by you and I knew I wanted to be with you for the rest of my days... finding out that it will not last forever and that there is someone else isn't exactly something I would want to hear either... and you saw me earlier... I almost did kill him..." she looked down, ashamed of herself.

[The Eleventh Doctor]

The Doctor shrugged when she told him he had no reason to apologize. He wouldn't argue now, not with Demory in this condition. When she told him about how she felt of the whole situation, hearing her guilt, he felt a twinge of pain in his hearts. "'Mory, stop blaming yourself.", he mumbled, letting some of his emotions leak through.

He quickly sealed them back up, though. Let one thing through, and a whole shit storm would follow. Been there, done that. "Not your fault.", he returned to his civilized tone of voice, desperately trying to conceal his feelings.

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